Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Power of Disengagement for Empaths

As with all relationships and situations in our lives, we must look within for both the source of our difficulties and the solution. Reacting to the situation by getting upset will only entrench us more deeply in the undesirable relationship. Only by disengaging, becoming still, and going within can we begin to see what has hooked us into the mess in the first place. We will most likely find unprocessed emotions that we can finally fully feel and release into the stillness we find in meditation. The more we are able to do this, the less we will be bothered by the other person’s dramas and the more we will be free to respond in a new way.

Whenever people come into our lives, they have come for a reason, to show us something about ourselves that we have not been able to see. When unhealthy people try to hook us into their patterns with mind games and power trips, we can remind ourselves that we have something to learn here and that a part of us is calling out for healing. This takes the focus off the troubling individual and puts it back on us, giving us the opportunity to change the situation from the inside out.  (Reprinted from

In my coaching work, the Empath Academy, and in my book, Navigating 2012: Thriving in Earth's New Age, I teach that we always have a choice to react (or not) to what life offers us. Empaths need to set firm boundaries and firm intentions as to what we're willing to do for others, and what we're not.  Just because we have a gift for drawing out the best in others, that doesn't mean we should always use it.

And so, the empath technique for learning how to make disengagement from others *simple* is called "END with LOVE" and if you're interested in learning more, the full process is explained in the latest book.

(And many thanks for your super positive comments about the book!)


spiritualsoul5 said...

I had a dream two days ago and the only thing I can remember about it was the word "empath". I didn't even know what an empath was. I decided to look it up on line and came across your website. I was blown away. For all these years people have been telling me that I should just stop being so emotional and the funny thing is I didn't even know why I was so emotional. As I read your the intro. to your most recent book "The Complete Empath toolkit" I was getting goosebumps all over me, feeling as though I was reading about myself. I finally know I am not crazy or going crazy. I actually thought at one point that there was something wrong with me because I couldn't stop it. I have really great intuition (when I listen to it). Thank you so much! I cannot wait to purchase your book.

Tracey said...

I'm re-reading "Navigating 2012". It brings me such comfort. The first time I read it I couldn't believe how much of the writing mirrored my own thinking; sometimes verbatim. That's amazing considering I'm living in, and surrounded by conservative, stoic, and traditional people. When I talk about my "thoughts" I always get blocked, and slightly mocked. So, for the most part, I keep this stuff to my self - spiritual stuff, that is. It's so good to know that I'm not alone, and that my thoughts and ideas aren't crazy... their ancient, meaningful, and purposeful. Thanks again!

Ronni said...

the art of detachment has been the hardest thing for me to do and teach other empaths. It's too easy to walk away feeling someone else's stuff. I am finding that I am becoming more empathic and can feel others from far away. I find clearing out with Archangel Michael enormously helpful.

DzhaA said...

Detatchment has been difficult for me. I appreciate this post and look forward to reading more of your material and learning how to master my empassion (is that a word? It should be).

Sherry Andrea said...

Very interesting. I really enjoyed reading the interview transcript.